I reach my large hand out to shake his.<\/p>\n
He flashes his badge and says, \u201cI\u2019m Officer John Dunno.\u201d Rears back in disgust, half-moon smile fades.<\/p>\n
I hold my hand up to my face. Pull up my nose like his. \u201cWhew!\u201d I drop my hand to my side like the other. Wipe them down my stained blue jeans.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry officer. I dun-know why I offered my hand. Forget I got mud and soot on me from chimney droppings. I probably smell like shit too. Left behind by homeless peeps and vermin.\u201d \u00a0I point at Dunno\u2019s feet. His left foot clipping the side of vermin shit. He don\u2019t look down; he don\u2019t move.<\/p>\n
Then I say, \u201cYou dun-know why I\u2019m here?\u201d I laugh. He don\u2019t. I stop laughing. Don\u2019t want Dunno to take me in \u2018cause he dun-know.<\/p>\n
I get serious and say, \u201cOfficer Dunno, I found them right in there. I wouldn\u2019t lie about pickin\u2019 through a pile of shit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDun-know,\u201d says Dunno, shruggin. \u201cHow about you tell me what\u2019s in your pocket.\u201d He points with his right shoulder without removing his hand from his holster.<\/p>\n
So, I tell the officer\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cI was out walking, left my house \u2018bout half mile that way.\u201d Flip, flip, flip my right hand in the direction behind him. \u201cWhen I got near here, a ghastly stench attacks my nose like after inhaling boiled pig guts. Do you know what those are officer?\u201d I ask. \u201cChitlins. A friend of mines\u2019 colored wife cooks \u2018em. Stink to high hell. But then I\u2019m thinking, it\u2019s the chili dog and warm brewskee blowing out my ass, and belching up through my throat.\u201d I rub my throat. Burp.<\/p>\n
Officer Dunno lifts his brows like what the fuck.<\/p>\n
\u201cS\u2019cuse me, officer.\u201d I begin again, \u201cI was out walking because I farted up the house. Right after eating greasy chicken fried steak. Annoys my young wife Jody when I fart. \u201cCalls my real name when she gets pissy. Haraldr Madsen take your stanky-ass outta here!\u201d Right before I get out another fart.\u201d I chuckle. \u201cOtherwise I\u2019m bubba.\u201d I say this smugly. \u201cI\u2019m a lady\u2019s man officer. Jody\u2019s 35.\u201d Dunno sighs, rolls his eyes around in a circle, raises his voice slightly and asks, \u201cWhy are you here? What\u2019s up with the bulge in your pocket?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m getting to it officer,\u201d I says. \u201cSee, I blows out most of my farts, decides to keep walking towards old town. Stop at Teddy Lumpkin\u2019s Bar, pitch a few brewskees with friends.\u201d I flip, flip, flip my left hand over my right shoulder toward Lumpkin\u2019s.<\/p>\n
\u201cI stop here at this abandoned Worthouse Building once used for skinning chickens. Been empty for 20 years. Nothing being skinned tonight. Ha! I remember skinning a couple myself. On Tuesdays, when they allow folks to come in, pick a chicken, ring its neck and pluck the feathers. Reduce the price by a couple of dollars.\u201d I cup my chin, thinkin\u2019. \u201cYou probably too young to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
I keep talking, ignoring his heavy sigh. \u201cMy wife complains \u2018bout my big belly she rubs anyway. Probably \u2018cause I still got these baby blues she fell in love with.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnyhoo I turns up my nose, guessing the odor is comin\u2019 from the rusty vents of this crumpling dirty white stucco. Leans sideways like a broken hip. You can still see the charcoal burns from the old fire.\u201d I nod my head backwards. \u201cA real shame how they left it. Dirt-stained, moldy glass windows \u2018cross the front. Window pieces falling, cluttering the walkway with sharp shanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
I look down, right as a mouse crosses my foot. \u201cDamn vermin.\u201d Shaking my head, I look at Dunno. \u201cThey come from the large, jagged hole on the bottom next to the boarded-up door.\u201d I nod my head backwards. \u201cAlley cats, rats, possums constantly crunch, crunchin over these broken shanks. Disappear into that there tall, uncut grass covering the sides and back of the building.\u201d I scrunch my forehead. \u201cI seen newborn possum babies officer. Inside the hole.\u201d I bend over slightly, thrust the tip of my shoulder toward the hole I come out of.<\/p>\n
\u201cUgly vermin babies with raw pink skin in driblets of blood. Night predators gunna eat \u2018em alive, if their mamas don\u2019t show soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Officer Dunno tilts his head left. Staring like he don\u2019t believe me.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t matter. I know what\u2019s true. Like the hazy moon hiding half-way behind the withered roof. Blistered ivy traveling up the side of wall, up the chimney side. Topples over roping down the inside for water bugs and long-legged hairy spiders to grab hold of.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe soot floor is where I find Benjamin after I crawled in. It was like St. Luke were guiding me over to the fireplace not far from the hole. I see the tip of something sticking from the soot. I pull on it. The angels sing. It was him. I dig through nasty soot and find more like the two I find right near the sidewalk. Count up to 5000 with the face of the statesman, inventor, diplomat and\u00a0American\u00a0founding father. Benjamin Franklin![\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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