{"id":115,"date":"2023-11-17T23:33:44","date_gmt":"2023-11-17T23:33:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/customedev.testdevlink.net\/Salvia\/?p=115"},"modified":"2023-11-17T23:35:11","modified_gmt":"2023-11-17T23:35:11","slug":"teddy-lumpkins-brewskees","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/customedev.testdevlink.net\/Salvia\/2023\/11\/17\/teddy-lumpkins-brewskees\/","title":{"rendered":"Teddy Lumpkin\u2019s Brewskees"},"content":{"rendered":"[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”1px” column_border_color=”#e78a6a” column_border_style=”double_offset” enable_border_animation=”true” column_padding_type=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_column_text]By A. Shakhete<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

St. Luke protecting me cuzz Officer Dunno doesn\u2019t believe a word I say about Benjamin. Ha! No skin off my ass. Son-bitch.<\/p>\n

Dunno says, \u201cNo more trespassing. I\u2019ll have to arrest you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nod. Force my big hand back in my pocket. Protect my wad. Stroll outta there, whistling an old Scandinavian toon my dada used to whistle, when he was happy. Like right after paying mom a visit in the back room.<\/p>\n

When I\u2019m outta earshot of Dunno, I phone, \u201cJody my angel,\u201d I call her. \u201cI\u2019m out walkin\u2019 off that greasy chicken fried steak. Got gas real bad. Still fartin\u2019 up a storm. Don\u2019t wanna stink up the cottage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell you do that Haraldr,\u201d she says, which means I\u2019m still in the dog house. Any other time I\u2019d be bothered. This time I got reason to be happy. Wanna share some of my found wealth with my guys. Brewskees on the house!<\/p>\n

Outside Teddy\u2019s, walkers some of \u2018em homeless drunkards find Lumpkin\u2019s hidden seven steps down at the bottom of an almost vacant building on 10th<\/sup>\u00a0street in old town. Heavy wood door with a Schooner window, keeps out the little noise coming from the street. Once inside, down two measly steps lands me inside what we call the dungeon. The front bar to the right of me smacks me in the gut almost. It\u2019s that close to the steps. The lowlight in here is just ripe for hittin\u2019 brewskees. Won\u2019t startle ya when your eyes droop from drinkin\u2019 too much. Like me and my two buddies Joe and Ronnie do sometime. They\u2019re warming up the stools chugging on bottle. Joe uses a glass.<\/p>\n

The three of us know Teddy the owner from the warehouse we all work at. Teddy retired 5 years ago and bought this place. His wife Rita helps he out. She\u2019s hittin\u2019 50 but is one of the cutest Brunettes I\u2019ve ever seen.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Harold,\u201d yells Joe the Jew.<\/p>\n

\u201cHarold my man,\u201d my Negro friend Ronnie says. Always grinnin\u2019 showing off the whitest teeth I\u2019ve ever seen and he\u2019s black as night, a good-lookin\u2019 ol\u2019 son-bitch. Jody whispered that in my ear once when I introduced her to him. We was at a company gathering where the three of us work\u2014me, Joe and Ronnie. \u201cBubba,\u201d she said. \u201cYour friend is hella scrumptious. The football player type.\u201d Then she kisses my cheek letting me know I\u2019m her only.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Joe, hey Ronnie\u201d I yell back. Making it up to the bar, I slam my hand on the counter between Joe and Ronnie.<\/p>\n

Patting Joe on the back, setting my face right in front of his, I say, \u201cYour wife let you out on a Thursday night, brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe put me out,\u201d Ronnie laughs.<\/p>\n

Joe snickers.<\/p>\n

Teddy the bar owner standin\u2019 in front of us now. Sets me down a Rainer. Unhooks the cap, drops the top in his empty hand, \u201cHey Harold. You get put out too?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grabbing my Rainer, I move to Ronnie\u2019s left. Plop my wide ass down on the stool. \u201cI gotta excuse. I bet Ronnie here, really ran out. Your wife cookin\u2019 them stank ass pig guts?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe snickers.<\/p>\n

\u201cNaw man. She only makes them for friends like you Harold.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scrunching my nose remembering the god-awful taste, I say, \u201cWrong of you brother to trick a friend into eatin\u2019 guts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe snickers. Short and stout is what he is. Beer rounds out his gut like the rest of us.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the hell happened to you?\u201d Teddy asks me. He tips his forehead at my shirt.<\/p>\n

I look down, \u201cUhhh, I\u2019m wearing some of Jody\u2019s dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then I remember, \u201cOh, hey Teddy, drinks on me. For my friends here. Hell, give \u2018em a round in the corner.\u201d I nod my head toward the interracials.<\/p>\n

Teddy arches his brows. \u201cYou getta raise?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Just feelin\u2019 mighty good today.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ronnie says, \u201cHow \u2018bout whiskeys instead?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhiskey makes me frisky,\u201d I say this right as Teddy\u2019s Brunette wife Rita, wearing tight jeans, low cut red blouse showin\u2019 her tanned cleavage walks up. Holdin\u2019 an empty drink tray she just emptied at the interracials table nearest the piss-room. A white haired, wrinkled faced white dude, a young black chick.\u00a0We know what that\u2019s about I\u2019m thinkin\u2019.\u00a0<\/em>Ronnie would be offended if he heard my thoughts.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll black women ain\u2019t hoes,\u201d he yells at me and Joe once. He says this after I mumbled how much for this one Negro girl who had come in here. Tall, gorgeous, big eyed, almond colored skin, lanky thing with long blonde locks. Not hers. Big tits. Big butt. Right behind her come a Negro man.\u00a0I was thinkin\u2019 he\u2019s one lucky son-bitch.<\/em>\u00a0Joe says he wished black women would just be natural. I think like his wife who wears a short afro. Lookin\u2019 manly though. Not \u2018cause of her hair. I\u2019ve seen good lookin\u2019 Negro women with short hair. Ronnie\u2019s wife is an exception. Eatin\u2019 too many pig guts I s\u2019pect. Pigs are short and fat. Ronnie\u2019s wife short and fat.<\/p>\n

I reach in my pocket for a Benjamin. Pull it out. Slap it down on Rita\u2019s tray. Her mouth drops wide. Ronnie\u2019s back straightens. Joe stops snickering peers around Ronnie. She drops her hand on top Benny, fast-walks around to the back of the counter. Stands next to Teddy. Lifts up her hand. He drops his eyes, pulls his neck back. Eyes roll back up, looking at me with raised eyebrows.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you do?\u201d he asks in earshot of us bar-mates.<\/p>\n

\u201cLong story,\u201d I says.<\/p>\n

The bar door opens. Slams after lettin\u2019 in a burly white cowboy. Stomp, stomp, stomp down the two measly steps he comes. Cowboy hat half covers the top of his bushy brows, Chinese-like eyes. Mustache atop his ain\u2019t smiling lips. Typical cowboy vest, calico shirt and boots on his person. Plops down on the stool at the far-left end of the bar. On my side. Teddy leans close to Rita, \u201cGive \u2018em what they want.\u201d<\/p>\n

Push my head forward, lower it quietly addin\u2019, \u201cGive us a couple hundred worth of rounds. Keep a hundred for yourself. Give me back the rest for Jody.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rita nods. Teddy walks down to the cowboy.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat got your cool Bud?\u201d says Teddy. He knows him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWent to pick up somethin\u2019. Damn cop staking out the place. Told me to scram.\u201d<\/p>\n

My ear puckers up.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah,\u201d says Teddy.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeam,\u201d says cowboy Bud. \u201cKindergarten cop Dunno can\u2019t stand there all night. Just have to wait him out.\u201d[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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