When I asked Li Min to describe a typical conflict scenario with her husband, she told me, “None of our conflict situations are about big things, just daily life things.”1 To...
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Living out 1 John 3:18, “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (NIV) can bear peacemaking fruit in our relationships. Thankfully, God loves...
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In a face-saving culture, neither giving authentic apologies nor proactively communicating about conflict are for the faint of heart. Many of those I interviewed in China recognized “that true strength...
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An important aspect of Chinese culture is giving face to others. Giving face is valued and seen as an appropriate action to take when conflict surfaces. We are expected to...
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“We know that confession and apology are important to God and critical for relational health, but is a verbal apology really necessary?” I heard this question raised so often at...
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Generally speaking, Chinese people view apologizing as a weakness. If I apologize to you, I automatically lose; you win. Being a white American, I was surprised by Li Qiang’s description...
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The traditional Confucian way of viewing relationships continues to set the general expectations—the unspoken cultural guidelines—for how two people in Chinese culture should relate to each other, including when conflict...
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“I’m right,” “I’m a good person,” and “I didn’t make a mistake.” These three mindsets regularly keep people from addressing conflict issues. Those I interviewed in China for my dissertation...
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A church brother deeply offended you, so you find a reasonable excuse to step down from serving together with him on the worship team. You figure life would be easier...
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During my years of teaching conflict resolution in China, numerous people said to me, “I don’t have conflicts with others.” Being an American, the comment puzzled me. I wondered, how...
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